If we find ourselves experiencing strong emotions, they likely come from a deep place inside that we rarely examine. Psychology defines this place as the subconscious. Trauma from the past that has been buried in the subconscious, and thereby unacknowledged, seeps out of these confines effecting attitudes and behaviors that are on full display.
Our rational selves attempt to make sense out of what others see and tell us are irrational. In the face of what we feel is criticism, we blame, excuse, justify, rationalize, or argue that our behavior is a result of events or circumstances that caused the outburst. This outward focus is not only inaccurate but keeps us from looking at the internal cause where answers and healing can begin.
For example, when we express anger to a degree that seems out of context for the situation, it is helpful to ask; “where does this anger come from?”. To answer this question, we will dig deeply into our past and find an unhealed emotional wound. The following illustration is from page 15 of my book, A Process, describing how we unravel old perceptions:
“Behind every anger there is a fear
Behind every fear there is a hurt
Behind every hurt there is an unmet need
Behind every unmet need there is a vulnerable child”
Finding the truth behind our behavior can be painful, yet the search is immeasurably important to gain maturity and come to understand the filter through which you perceive life. Change cannot happen until the truth is known and accepted. Just like an infection will eventually cause irreparable harm if not treated, an emotional wound will not heal until it is broken open, cleaned out, treated and protected through the regeneration process. This emotional healing is what my book is all about.
Is there an example of a time when you found yourself reevaluating your reaction to a situation? What do you think was the truth behind that reaction?