Insight and How to Look at Your Habits from a Third Party Perspective.

It’s not easy to be objective when you’re looking for insight within yourself, especially when you feel as if you’re on the edge of an enlightenment of sorts. It is easy to get wrapped up in the emotion of the moment and to view each habit, tendency, or reactions from a place of defense and justification.

Here is a lesson I’ve learned from my Yoga practice that allows me to be able to look at characteristic tendencies I have from a third party perspective, which then allows me to create some real change of habits. I have learned that no matter what the situation is, it is important to place no judgment on the habit, tendency, or reaction to the situation. Defense and justification come from a place of judgement on one’s self and by taking that judgement away, it is as if the habit, tendency, or reaction is neither good nor bad. Instead, they just are.

In other words, there are no “right” habits, tendencies, or reactions, and therefore no “wrong” ones either. Once there are no “right” and “wrong” judgements on your solutions, you allow your mind to see a fuller scope of the situation and evaluate your solution with a neutral stance. Identifying the habits you’d like to change about yourself isn’t hard, sometimes it seems as if life is a constant reminder. But when you can identify them through a neutral view point, you can come up with reasonable and incremental steps through which to create real change.

I like the saying, “there are no rights or wrongs, there is only reality”.

Why is this helpful?

Everyone is their own harshest critic, that’s the saying, isn’t it? But if we are able to proceed with evaluations from a neutral place, we are able to get a more well rounded idea of the situation and create some real change.

The other side of the coin

Taking away the judgement on your actions, when coming from a place seeking change, also allows you to give yourself a break, if you will. Being kind to yourself and allowing for change to happen in small increments is a sort of self love, and real self love is the only channel through which I’ve experienced long term change.


What is a situation that you have come up against that has helped you later in life because it gave you a perspective to another situation you were been confronted with at a later time?

Are We Unaware of our Childhood Programing?

Consider the following statement:

A person’s persona is a reflection of the expectations placed on them by their family of origin.

The tragedy here is not that we were programmed to act or believe in a certain way. Rather, the tragedy exists only if we are unaware of these foundational beliefs and don’t make the effort to reassess how we see the world and our place in it based on an honest look at our actual experiences.

When did you come to realize something specific from your upbringing was affecting your reality now? Did this realization help you to bring personal perspective?

Control Over Others is Just an Illusion

If we find ourselves acting as if we could control the actions of others, thought patterns, or attitudes, we are only kidding ourselves. Other people rightfully want to exercise their own autonomy. They will resist either passively or aggressively. The resulting relationship you have with them will be one of distrust or antagonism.

Is that the type of relationship you want? Most people would not want that to be the definition of a relationship, yet could be creating it by trying to control things that are by their very nature outside your ability to control. Accepting this reality provides you the opportunity to change, not the person you would otherwise attempt to change.
Can you remember a time you were able to change your perspective and in turn were able to see where the other person was coming from?